You know that feeling when something super amazing happens in your life and you’re excited to celebrate with someone special?!
Sometimes your happiness is met with genuine enthusiasm and pure joy. But not always.
Your positive news might be met with a negative or apathetic response. Friends and family may rain on your parade, try to one up you, or even make you feel guilty for accomplishments.
No bueno.
Why Does This Happen?
Jealousy? Selfishness? Concern for your well-being? Fear that you’re making a mistake?
No matter the reason, it’s key to remember that it’s hard to be happy for someone else if you aren’t happy with yourself.
People who struggle to find true happiness in their own life would naturally be challenged to feel it for others. Makes sense, right?! It’s the same as asking someone who’s broke to lend you $5.
If they don’t have the resources to take care of themselves they likely won’t have it to give to you. So how can you get over the disappointment of others not sharing your joy?
Don’t Take It Personal
Feeling like others don’t want to participate in our joy can hurt. We might feel sadness at the assumption we’re at fault or that the other person has it out for us. Neither is true.
It’s simply not personal.
A co-worker who isn’t happy for your promotion could be wishing to make progress in their own career. A parent unhappy with their child going to college could be upset at the thought of having an empty nest. A friend who frowns on the success of your business could be struggling with the failure of their own.
Any of those situations on the surface could be labeled as “this person isn’t happy for me”. However, at the core, none of them are personal at all.
What Can You Do?
It’s tempting to get mad or assign a negative label to the person who isn’t able to share your joy. Instead shift your mindset.
Turn the situation around by:
- Holding Onto Your Own Happiness
It might be tempting to downplay your happiness so that others aren’t uncomfortable. Don’t. Enjoy your moment. Celebrate on your own terms in a way that allows you to fully express how happy you really are. - Accept The Other Person As They Are… Or Don’t
When someone isn’t happy for you it’s tempting to label them as jealous, self-centered, or controlling. Yet, those labels won’t get you to your end destination which is to enjoy your moment. You can accept the other person as they are or you can choose not to. Accepting them means knowing they may not react the way you’d hope. If you can’t accept that you might filter what information you share with them. - Find Others Who Want To Celebrate With You
There is someone in your life who wants to celebrate with you. It might be a teacher, a classmate, a co-worker, or even someone in a Facebook forum of like-minded people. Know that there is always someone who wants to see you succeed. That person might be a total stranger, and that’s OK.
